Can I Afford to Get Divorced? What to Calculate Before You Decide
This is one of the most common questions I hear. And it’s almost always asked with a mix of fear and desperation, because the person asking already knows they want to leave. What they’re really asking is: “Is it financially possible?”
The answer is almost always yes. But the question you actually need to be asking is different.
It’s not “Can I afford to get divorced?” It’s “What will my financial life look like after divorce, and what do I need to make that work?”
Those are different questions. The first one creates paralysis. The second one creates a plan.
The Real Costs of Divorce Nobody Tallies Upfront
Most people underestimate the cost of divorce because they only think about attorney fees. Attorney fees are real and significant. But they’re not the number that will determine whether you can afford your life in five years.
Here’s what you actually need to calculate:
1. The Legal Fees (and How to Minimize Them)
Attorney fees for divorce range widely:
- Mediated or uncontested divorce: $3,000 to $15,000 total
- Moderately contested divorce: $15,000 to $50,000
- Fully litigated, high-conflict divorce: $50,000 to $150,000+
The biggest driver of legal cost isn’t complexity — it’s conflict. Every email, every deposition, every court appearance runs the meter. Couples who can agree on most things save tens of thousands of dollars.
This is one reason working with a CDFA early in the process can save money. When the financial questions are answered clearly and quickly, attorneys spend less time arguing about them.
2. The Cost of Running a Single-Income Household
This is the calculation most people skip, and it’s the one that matters most.
Take out a piece of paper and calculate what your life actually costs on one income. Not a vague estimate — actual numbers:
- Monthly housing (mortgage or rent, property taxes, insurance, HOA if applicable)
- Utilities
- Food
- Transportation (car payment, insurance, gas, maintenance)
- Healthcare (premiums, deductibles, out-of-pocket)
- Childcare and education
- Debt payments
- Personal expenses (clothing, gym, subscriptions, etc.)
- Savings (retirement contributions, emergency fund)
Add those up. That’s what your life costs. Now look at your income. Is there a gap?
If there’s a gap, you have options. Alimony can close it temporarily. Your settlement assets (if you take cash or investments instead of the house) can provide a bridge. A realistic plan to increase income can help long-term.
But you have to do the math first. I cannot stress this enough: the people who struggle financially after divorce are almost always the ones who never calculated what they actually needed.
3. What Your Settlement Actually Leaves You With
This is the piece nobody talks about clearly enough.
Your settlement is not just about splitting the assets. It’s about what you walk away with after taxes, fees, and the practical costs of actually getting to those assets.
A $500,000 house and a $500,000 retirement account look the same on paper. They are not the same thing:
- The house requires ongoing carrying costs, can’t be spent without selling, and comes with transaction costs when you do sell.
- The retirement account requires taxes when you withdraw, but grows tax-deferred in the meantime, and doesn’t cost anything to hold.
A settlement that gives you “half” might actually give you far less than half once you run the real numbers. That’s not a legal problem — it’s a financial modeling problem. And it requires a CDFA, not just an attorney.
Listen: Leanne explains where to start when you don’t know what you don’t know → /listen
Episode 1 of The Private Sessions covers the first steps toward financial clarity during divorce. Three free episodes, no email required.
What You Need to Know Before Filing
Before you file — or before you agree to anything — you need to know:
Your Liquid vs. Illiquid Assets
Which of your marital assets can you actually access? A retirement account isn’t cash. A house isn’t cash. Business equity definitely isn’t cash.
If you’re leaving a marriage where most of the wealth is tied up in illiquid assets, you need to negotiate for liquidity in your settlement. Otherwise you’ll have a net worth on paper and no money in your account.
Your Post-Divorce Income
What will you earn after divorce? If you’ve been out of the workforce, this is a harder question. If you work full-time, it’s straightforward.
What matters is the gap between what you earn and what you need. If there’s a significant gap, alimony needs to be part of your settlement calculation — not just the asset split.
Your Healthcare Situation
If you’re covered under your spouse’s employer plan, divorce ends that coverage. You’ll need COBRA (typically expensive and time-limited), a marketplace plan, or employer-sponsored coverage of your own.
Healthcare is frequently underestimated in post-divorce budgets. For people in their 50s and 60s, healthcare costs before Medicare can run $800 to $1,500 per month for an individual.
What the Settlement Timeline Looks Like
From filing to final decree, most divorces take 6 to 18 months. During that time, you may need temporary support orders to cover living expenses.
Don’t assume you’ll be able to maintain your current lifestyle on current income during the process — especially if you’ve been living on two incomes. Get in front of this calculation before you file.
How to Figure Out Whether You Can Actually Afford It
Here’s a practical framework:
Step 1: Calculate your post-divorce monthly budget. Use the list above. Include everything. Add 10% buffer for surprises.
Step 2: Calculate your post-divorce income. Include salary, any expected alimony, investment income, and any realistic income changes.
Step 3: Calculate the gap. If expenses exceed income, what’s the gap? How long can your settlement assets cover it?
Step 4: Model different settlement scenarios. Taking the house vs. taking the retirement accounts vs. taking cash — each option creates a different financial reality over 5 to 10 years.
This is exactly what a CDFA does. We model the numbers so you can make a decision based on what your life will actually look like, not based on fear or hope.
The Question You Should Really Be Asking
Most people who ask “Can I afford to get divorced?” are actually asking one of two questions:
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“Will I be financially okay after divorce?” — The answer depends on the settlement you negotiate and the plan you build.
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“Should I stay for financial reasons?” — That’s a much harder question, and only you can answer it. But I will say this: I’ve never met anyone who negotiated a fair settlement, built a solid post-divorce financial plan, and then decided the trade-off wasn’t worth it.
What I have met are people who stayed too long because they were afraid of the numbers — only to discover the numbers were workable all along.
Listen to The Private Sessions — 3 free episodes, no email required → /listen
Frequently Asked Questions
How much does it cost to get divorced?
The legal fees alone range from $7,000 to $15,000 for a relatively uncontested divorce, and $50,000 to $150,000+ for a fully litigated case. But the legal fees are only part of the picture. The real cost includes what your settlement leaves you with after taxes, the cost of running a single-income household, and any assets you give up in the process.
What if I can’t afford divorce?
Many people can’t afford divorce in the traditional sense, but they also can’t afford to stay. Options include mediation (lower legal fees), temporary support orders that provide income during the process, and a structured settlement that provides liquidity. A CDFA can help you model what you actually need to survive the transition and negotiate for that in the settlement.
Can I afford to live on my own after divorce?
This depends on your income, your settlement, and your post-divorce budget. The key calculation is: what does your life cost on one income? Run that number honestly — housing, food, healthcare, transportation, debt payments, and savings. Then compare it to what income you’ll have. If there’s a gap, it needs to be closed by alimony, your settlement assets, or a realistic plan to increase income.
What assets should I ask for in a divorce?
Stop thinking about what to ask for and start thinking about what you need. Liquidity matters more than face value. If you need income, alimony and liquid investments matter more than the house. If you’re close to retirement, retirement account preservation matters more than other assets. Build your settlement request around your actual post-divorce financial needs, not a list of things you feel entitled to.
Leanne Ozaine is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and Financial Planner with over 20 years of experience. She went through her own divorce after 25 years of marriage. She works with both men and women nationwide. Listen to her free Private Sessions at fearlessdivorce.com/listen, or visit privateadvisory.co to work with her directly.